Encyclopedia Brown:The Case of the Colorful Ponies
by LM
Summary: Whew, had to squash the title a bit to make it fit!


_**Encyclopedia Brown and the Case of the Colorful Ponies**_

At first glance, Idaville, USA, was like any other small town. It had beautiful beaches, three movie theaters, and four banks. It had churches, synagogues, delicatessens, and slums.

But a certain red brick house at 13 Rover Avenue set Idaville apart. It was the home of the Chief of Police, Chief Brown. People all over the world, including China, thought he was the smartest police officer ever. Chief Brown knew better. His toughest cases were solved by his ten year old son, Encyclopedia Brown. (People all over the world, including China, sure are gullible fools, aren't they? Ha ha!) 

Of course, his name wasn't _actually_ Encyclopedia; it was a nickname. An encyclopedia is a book or set of books filled with all kinds of facts from A to Z . . . just like Encylopedia's head. (Unfortunately, Encylopedia's brain became slightly outdated after the Soviet Union fell.)

One day Encyclopedia was sitting in the living room reading _Ode on a Grecian Urn_ when his father, Chief Brown, came home early. _Ode on a Grecian Urn_ is boring poem by John Keats which English teachers like to overanalyze.

"Son, I need your help," Chief Brown said. "We're all baffled down at headquarters. It's the worst crime wave yet." 

"Dad, I already told you--Officer Culp was the one stealing food from the lunch room," Encyclopedia sighed.

"No, no, it's worse than that, even. It's--well, I'll drive you to the crimescene so you can see for yourself." 

So Encyclopedia Brown buckled his seatbelt as his father drove to the local school. The brick walls were covered with poorly spelled graffiti! 

"Wow," Encyclopedia said, hopping out of the car. "What a mess! But it shouldn't be too hard to find the person who did this. They probably got red paint on their hands or clothes."

But Chief Brown shook his head. "The crime probably took place last night, and it wasn't noticed until this morning. There was plenty of time for the vandal to clean up." A vandal is someone who willfully or maliciously defaces or destroys public or private property, especially in Rome around 455 AD. 

"Hmm," Encyclopedia said thoughtfully. "Good thing we have our very own homegrown scapegoat here in Idaville!"

"Bugs Meany!" father and son said in unision, and they jumped back in the patrol car.

The unfortunately named Bugs Meany was the local bully. He was somewhat older than Encyclopedia and was typical of gangster wannabes everywhere except that he wore a silly Jughead hat. Why ask why?

Bugs was carving some bits of wood in his garage when Encyclopedia and his father drove up. "Well, well, look who's here! Dumb and dumber!"

"It's the 80s," Encyclopedia said. "That movie hasn't been made yet." 

Bugs scowled at him. "Whatever."

"Bugs, I'd like to ask you some questions," Chief Brown said solemnly. "Where were you last night at . . . uh . . . where were you last night?" 

"I was at home," Bugs said.

"Not vandalizing the school?" the Chief persisted.

"No!"

"So you wouldn't mind if we asked your parents to confirm that?" the policeman said.

Bugs looked flustered. "Okay, okay, maybe I was out last night, but I didn't spraypaint any graffiti, I swear!"

"Ah HA, so you know the vandals used SPRAYpaint!" Encyclopedia said triumphantly.

Bugs stared at him. "What else would they use? Watercolors?"

"He does have a point, son. Okay, Bugs, let's say you _were_ in the park. Did you see anything suspicious?"

"Well, I was hanging out a streetcorner when I saw a little girl skipping around. It was weird, just this little blond girl out all by herself."

"Hmm . . . what did she look like?" The chief pulled out his notebook.

"She was about six years old and she was wearing a frilly pink jumper." A pink jumper is a stereotypically feminine piece of clothes which real little girls would not be caught dead in.

"Maybe she was lost," suggested Encyclopedia.

"That's what I thought at first, but then--and this is the weird part--these two ponies walk up to her." Ponies are horses that are small in size when full grown and are sometimes used as marketing ploys. 

"Uh . . . what?" The police chief looked confused.

"Yeah, they looked just like My Little Pony toys, only a lot bigger!"

"Like that one on your workbench?" Encyclopedia asked.

Bugs snatched up Baby Glory and hid her behind his back. "That's . . . that's my sister's."

"Aren't you an only child, though?"

"So you were in the park," Chief Brown prompted.

"Oh, yeah. So these two ponies appear out of nowhere and start talking to the little girl. I was too far away to hear what they were saying, but at least I got a good look at them! One of them was a white stallion with yellow and red hair--"

"How did you know it was a stallion?" the boy detective asked.

"Don't they have a listing for _anatomy_ in encyclopedias?" Bugs sneered.

"Go on with your description," Chief Brown said, jumping in before the story could lose its G rating.

"He had yellow hair with a red stripe in it and little flames all over his body. The other pony was all blue and she had a grey circle with a crescent moon in it on her flanks. The white pony was carrying a bag, and he pulled a can of spray paint out of it and gave it to the little girl. She went skipping off and the ponies trotted away. I waited in the park until my drug dealer show--uh, I hung out until I got tired and then headed home."

"That was quite a story, Bugs," Encyclopedia said. "Those creative writing courses must be paying off."

_What made Encyclopedia Brown think that Bugs' story was phony? Read on!_

"Bugs said that the ponies he saw looked 'just like' My Little Ponies . . . but Hasbro never made a white Twice-as-Fancy pony covered with flames or an all blue pony with a moon symbol."

"Besides," Encyclopedia finished. "Everyone knows ponies can't talk."

"This is very serious, Bugs. I'm taking you in," Chief Brown said firmly, handcuffing Bugs.

"What?? You can't do this! I'm innocent!" Bugs squawked. "I was framed, I tell you! Framed!" The policeman paid him no mind as he shoved Bugs into the patrol car. 

"I'm riding shotgun!" declared Encyclopedia. A shotgun is a smoothbore gun that fires shot over short ranges. Or the front passenger seat of a car. Go figure.

Neither Encyclopedia nor his father noticed four triangular ears tracking them as they drove off, and Bugs was too busy pounding on the windows and demanding his phone call to notice anything. After the wail of sirens faded, two heads peered out from behind the bushes.

"We were so close," Blue Moon sighed, shaking her head. "I was sure that they'd catch Molly in the act." 

But her partner wasn't listening. "Ponies can't talk indeed!" Flare glared down the street. "Hasn't that little geek ever heard of the exception to the rule?" 

  


**THE END** is a literary device used to indicate the end of a story. 


End file.
